Children are a gift from God...like arrows in the hands of a warrior." Psalm 127
Yesterday, as I surveyed the mess I had made of the upstairs and tried to figure out what I was going to do with all this "stuff", I thought, "I'm 57 years old, and I'm in labor again!"
Only this time, I'm giving "birth" to an almost 15 year old and a 5 year old. I'm giving birth to children who are already related to us through the adoption of our son. I'm giving birth to an older girl I wanted to adopt seven years ago, and to her little sister.
Labor is what it feels like to me. My mind is swirling, my nesting instinct is in full gear. I'm making room for two more children to move into my house. We started classes this week to renew our adoption license, and they - and we - are hoping to fast track this and get the girls settled as soon as possible. I don't have nine months to think about how I'm going to do this. Chances are the girls will start spending some weekends with us next month, if all goes well.
We are going through a Christian agency this time, Arrow Child and Family Ministries, which is the agency that is in charge of these two children. The scripture at the beginning of this blog is their motto. Last time, we went through the Department of Family and Protective Services (better known to most of us as CPS) because that was who was in charge of my son.
As I sat in the first class Tuesday night, I realized how much nicer this is going to be. I watched the lady teaching the class, who had just prayed with us, and was emphasizing they only wanted Christian homes to take their children, and thought, she is not going to put a bunch of dirty words on the blackboard! That had happened to us last time. My son Gage had to attend that long ago class because he was over the age of 18 and still lived at home. I was horrified that it was this class they choose to list all the slang words young people who have been raised in undesirable, unprotective homes might use for the word "sex". Adults in the class who had never said a word in all the hours we had spent together suddenly became animated and were laughing, shouting out dirty, ugly words, as teacher wrote them down in big letters on the blackboard. And she asked my sheltered, homeschooled son if he didn't know more of them. And left the words there on the board for the rest of that long day.
I feel relatively certain that won't happen at this agency. Yes, I know we are going to have to talk about unseemly, sinful things, but I'm thinking we are going to be able to do that in a mature, more pure manner!
There are many things to think about. Will this be an open or closed adoption? Most people would advise us to close the adoption, but most of those have not adopted, and don't quite understand that while yes, it might be true that the family "doesn't deserve" to get to see the girls again, do the girls "deserve" to be separated from the family they love, even those who haven't really done anything to them? Most people haven't sat with a child who cries gut wrenching sobs because they can't see mommy and daddy and cousins or grandmas or brothers and sisters again. They don't realize that it isn't so much about whether the family "deserves" this, as it is about what the child himself needs to grow up mentally healthy and happy.
How would WE feel (and we are adults!) if we suddenly lost our entire family - EVERYONE we knew, and were thrown into a new family and expected to be grateful and happy?
So, I'm in labor again. While my mind is at rest with whether or not we will get to have these girls move in (although I do realize that many things can still happen, this is not a completely done deal), at this point, we are the family chosen for the two girls, and we all want them settled into their forever home as quickly as we can do that.
I've only just begun the realms of paperwork. We have only had one class. We are grateful for our new caseworker who seems to be just as nice and helpful as he can be, and who has agreed to do as many classes as he can at our home, to get us through this quickly. One on one classes means many less hours, and means Bill doesn't have take classes after working all day for weeks. I think I'm going to like this agency!
So, please pray for us, and especially pray for the two girls. Pray for my other children, as they have to share their mom and dad once again with more siblings. I have such good children. I am so proud of them. Even if they don't always approve of all this, they are always supportive and accepting.
As I said, it hasn't happened yet, and many things can still happen to throw a wrench in it. But I feel very blessed by God to even be considered for more of His arrows!