Wednesday, April 13, 2011

I'm not tired anymore!

Many years ago, our church had a split.  I was new there, and this trouble devastated me.  I stumbled around for a while, trying to figure out where I belonged, and in the end, I went back to the church that brought me to this tiny Texas town.  I've been back around a year now, and feel fairly comfortably settled back in.
Last Sunday, after our fellowship meal, I was talking to several ladies.  One of them, a much younger one of them, remarked that since I came back this last time, I seem "tired."

Well...hmmmm...I am tired...

Quite a few things happened to me while I was doing that stumbling around that were pretty hard...

I lost my beloved MiMi, my little foster daughter that I cared for for twenty of her twenty six months of life.  She went back to her biological family, which is a good thing, but it completely broke my heart, and my heart still has a little crack in it with her name engraved there:

Six days after little MiMi left, I was asked to bring five month old Tommy - Angel-Leah's biological brother, into our home.  So we did, and what a joy that little boy is.  But it was HARD at first.  He was still very sick from his heroin addiction in the womb.  I was his fourth mommy in less than six months, and he had some major attachment problems.  Before long, he was having rages, and I was at a loss for a while how to help him, but after a suggestion from our bishop that I lay my hands on him at night and pray, God lead us to the Feingold diet, and Tommy is doing GREAT!!

And then, my father died this fall.  He was sick for three long months, and it was so hard to lose him.  But even while I grieve, I can just see him in heaven.  I always picture him with his hands behind his back and his chin jutting up, walking around looking at mansions like he used to look at houses while he was here on earth with us.  I'm going to see him again someday, and that makes me really happy.  We just have to wait a bit, but that reunion is coming!

So, I got to thinking about this.  What have I got to be tired about?  It's spring, and spring looks like this:

Whoops, I mean, it looks like this:

Why should I be tired, right?

So...I'm done being tired.  Associated Content removed the program I was writing articles for, so I lost that writing job while they revamp.  The teacher of my writing course thinks I have a few publishable articles, so rather than spending much more time writing new ones, I am going to work on seeing if anyone really would publish what I write.

And...I'm going to start back to work on my book.  I'm going to get that done.  I cry and cry while I write it, but those tears are good, and they water my soul. 

Life is so good, and too precious to waste being tired.  Today we cleaned the yard because my nephew wants to come take pictures in the morning, and we sure don't want to be embarrassed!!  Now we are going to leave to visit a new friend who has been coming to that church I'm back at.  Then this evening, we are going to have ice cream sundaes for dinner to celebrate the fifth anniversary of Luke's adoption.  Maybe I'll write a blog about that, if I have time...

Because I refuse to be tired anymore, and I've got lots of stuff to do!!

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